It’s been 6 months since I’ve picked on the completion… which for me is pretty good! You’d almost think they were laying low, launching great products, or not doing silly…
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
What? Didn’t you know Samsung has officially declared war on Michigan farmers? The first victims, Nancy Mumby-Welke were rather relieved this atrocity didn’t crash through their house or otherwise careen through one of their valuable farm critters. What exactly is that you ask? Well, its a marketing toy from Samsung, to let users do a “Space Selfie”. They had users send an image to their “satellite”… not a satellite but actually a high altitude weather balloon..so even the term “space” in space selfing was a lie.. to be displayed on the screen of a Samsung S10, with the Earth in the background… once and for all showing Samsung as the king of selfies… and then the king of trying to kill innocent farms animals with space trash.
Samsung Round 2
Though this was the icing on the cake really, Samsung did not do itself any favours in it’s relaunch of the Samsung Fold. After an embarrassing launch where it proved to be a piece of expensive crap, Samsung made some changes and tried again. While making piecemeal changes like stretching the screen protector edges under the display lip and putting environmental ingress seals around the hinges (like should have been done in the first place) they simply buried their failure under a pile of warnings! I’m not kidding.. when you open the box, right on the screen of the device is a thick sheet of paper with a plethora of warnings that would make a medicine commercial blush…
“CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE USE” PEOPLE!!
Seriously, did you read that caption… you should CONSULT A PHYSICIAN before using it if you use a pacemaker! It’s not dust resistant, in fact, it’s recommended dust be kept away, can’t use it near credit cards, don’t press on it… my GAWD. I’m sorry, but with that many warning, this technology is simply not ready for primetime.. but its just like Android manufacturers to jump the gun, then later let Apple launch the product in much more thought out incarnation. It still has each and everyone of the shortcomings I mentioned before, including the very visible fold.
Samsung Round 3
Everybody gave Apple the gears when the launched the iPhone X without a fingerprint scanner, there were conspiracies that Apple had to abandon in-screen fingerprint scanner technology at the last minute, because it was “to hard”. Well, as usual, it appears Apple once again wisely waited on the technology.
The Galaxy S10 launched with an in-screen fingerprint sensor that used ultrasonic technology to read your fingerprinting… turns out, a cheap screen protector can allow anyone to unlock your phone! Same as their face-scanning tech being able to be fooled by a photograph, this is just another embarrassing failure in security from Samsung. They fixed it so they say, but it’s shows you once again in their panic to beat Apple to the market, Samsung releases half baked tech.
Google Pixel 4
Not even enough to warrant it’s own article, the Pixel 4 is another over priced yawn from Google, leaving me to still recommend the Samsung Galaxy S10 for absolute needy Android users. At least achieving a consistent appearance between the regular and XL models this time around, the battery life has been downright embarrassing. Google also tried replicating Apples FaceID tech, but with results that can be used without requiring attention, forcing them to issue an official warning from the company; “Your phone can also be unlocked by someone else if it’s held up to your face, even if your eyes are closed,”. Their suggestion is you keep it safe, in a front pocket or something, and protect it with a PIN instead… making their facial recognition tech a complete and utter failure.
Google Round 2
Furthermore, it should be noted, Google tricked people into submitting scans of their face to train their system. And not just anyone, but Black people… targeting attendees of the BET Awards. Oh, and targeting homeless folks by offering them $5 gift cards… and specifically telling their contractors to tell people to “just play with the phone for a few minutes” not disclosing their facial recognition data would be used let alone CAPTURED.
Google Round 3
The fact any single human being on this plant trusts these shysters at all is simply mind blowing to me, time and time and time and time and time and time again they have proven themselves not to be trusted. And if you want to talk about underhanded bollocks, how about Googles supposedly neutral Zero-Day Exploit security team calling out Apple on a bug that had already been patched, months before? And only in fact targeted a very select group of individuals, and was in fact created by a certain communist government?
Google Round 4
On top of all that and taking the title in this article.. Google has officially discontinued support for the Original Pixel phone… a product just THREE years old! Apple just released an update for the iPhone 5s… and product about to go into preschool at 6 years old!
This Is Exhausting
The sheer volume of shenanigans from these two chuckleheads could fill books, and yet Apple coasts through. Someone aught to have pistol-whipped Google and Samsung by now…
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