The annual CES 2020 Show has wrapped up, and this year had its usual assortment of awesome products and it’s fair share of fails. We’ll see in the coming months and years what stuck, but we know for sure what has failed spectacularly!
2020 CES AWARD WINNER
No staff, a skateboard, poster and empty box…
Admittedly, this booth does not beat last years “lonely sap at a table” by Shenzhen 3iRobotics, I say the trade off of a single product and no staff makes up for it! You’d think after spending nearly $6,000 for space (JUST for the 10X10 booth, no power, internet, nothing!) at the biggest electronic show on the planet you’d put a little effort into it… but perhaps they spend the entire budget on getting the booth?
Though not shown anywhere on signage, Ogrand Industrial Limited brought their lonely off-road skateboard, and it’s distinctive lack of electronics (forcing us to ask why it was at CES in the first place) unpacked it out of the box, tossed it on the ground and walked away. The best part was the handwritten sign on it stating “SALE”… and the neighbouring booth staff handing over a card from Organd stating the price of $400 for said skateboard.
So, they purchased a booth at the largest ELECTRONIC show, haphazardly threw a NON-ELECTRONIC gadget on the ground, left the box in plain view, asked neighbouring staff to hand out business cards, and pissed off to the pub? That’s ballsy!
Runner Ups
Butt Paper On A Roll
Some companies that don’t have anything to do with electronics made an appearance, probably just to get a touch of the limelight… or did you want a Charmin butt paper robot?
I see no armatures, no large storage space… this robot you have to PRELOAD, yourself, with a single roll. That’s like a St. Benard being dispatched with a thimble full of whisky!
Let’s Pod The WORLD
Do you consume unhealthy amounts of bread and olive oil? Do you forever dream of a device that dispenses you perfectly measured and warmed olive oil? Your dreams have come true!
At nearly $4.30 per wee shot of olive oil, you better REALLY dig pre-frozen olive oil… and why do you need this device to thaw them? Why not just leave them out? There are some real Juciero vibes coming off this thing… but it’s only $80 or so bucks!
Are They Really Recyclable?
For a company that is currently milking just how environmentally conscious they are, Audi certainly decided to use an absolute crap tone of plastic streamers to surround and divide up their booth. Staff said they were recyclable though… but.. that’s questionable.
Samsung Bows To VVI (Vertical Video Idiots)
While most folks at CES 2020 are trying to make the slimmest TV’s, the least intrusive screens, Samsung trots this out…
That is the Samsung Sero, a TV that will rotate so you can watch your vertical videos full screen! Personally I would have preferred a TV that has a built in hand that slaps the s#$t out of you if you try to play a vertical video in the first place. But no, this cannot be mounted on the wall, and it won’t work with a TV stand. The stand it does sit on is ugly as hell apparently, so there’s that.
-5 Points For Uselessness, + Several 100 For Entertainment Quality
A laser turret that shoots mosquitoes dead would be brilliant, but one that only points at them for you to do the dirty deed is useless. WAY to much research was put into this device that apparently can locate misquotes in your room, and it’s certainly to highly priced to be useful in a tropical country where it could have potential. I say they missed a hell of an opportunity by not strapping a million watt tattoo removal laser on that thing to kill the wee buggers dead dead. So where did those several hundred point come from? Their absolutely grand product video!
https://youtu.be/l8_X44XkILk&w=640&h=385
Not All Terrible
It is CES 2020 of course, and there were a plethora of cool stuff, but I like to make my audience laugh. Just be happy we didn’t tell you about the taint band-aid.
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